Weather The Storm
by EvilRegalShandyLvr21
Summary: Sometimes we go through things and we try to hide them from our partners, but we fail? How will she react? Will he push her too, far? It is all about "Weathering the Storm!" Is Shandy capable? COMPLETE
1. Lay Your Burdens Down

This story has been lingering in my brain for a minute, so I decided I would go ahead and get it out. It's inspired by a Jill Scott song entitled, "Lighthouse." If you haven't heard it, I encourage you to go give it a listen. The concept is also couple with a recent interview of Duff's where he briefs us with the idea that Flynn will get hurt in the back 8, and that will give us a glimpse in his mind frame and with the BTS shot that was released with the announcement with the order of the extra 5.

As usual I don't own these amazing characters, I am just taking them on a ride! They will be returned to the Duffster!

Thank you to The BAMDAMMMsters for all of their brainstorming help! Without them this would not be possible!

Mind you it is going to be slight AU.

Here we go! Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~ERSL21~~~~~~~~~

* * *

 _I know, oh_

 _I know_

 _That look on your face_

 _Says you're going through some things_

 _And for sure_

 _Maybe for sure_

 _I'm here_

 _Mmm hmm here for you baby_

 _Yes_

 _Whatever it is_

 _Trouble is deep_

 _I can see by your eyes_

 _They're heavy to me_

 _Talk to me baby –Jill Scott_

* * *

The air between us has been shifting lately. He still loves me and he shows it constantly, but something is eating away at him. I have tried to let him come to me with it, but he has yet to make the move. I can see it in his eyes. He is going through something, but he is too afraid to share it with me. His unwillingness to do so, has me questioning us, but I know it's deeper than that. I know it's something in regards to his health and future as police officer, but he won't say anything. But today, everything changed, he was injured on the job and it scared me. Not just scared me as his girlfriend, but scared me also as his boss. I love that man to fault, but I can't be kept in the dark for much longer. I need to know what is going on. Over the last few weeks, he has been volunteering to stay back in the murder room and do whatever needs to be handled rather than going in the field with Provenza or Sykes. At first I thought it was his slick little way to spend more time with me, so I didn't allow it the first few times. Once, I started seeing it occur more often and I noticed Provenza wasn't griping about it, I realized it had to have something to do with his doctor's appointment that he claimed everything was ok at. I gauged the topic of it a few times on our dates, but he always said "It was nothing." I even brought the topic up after we made love one night, knowing that I usually get the unfiltered truth when we are in the mix of unbridled passion, but I got the same response. Today, was my final straw. I need answers and I need them now:

" _Andy, can you come to my office please?" I say as I walk past his desk back to my office._

" _Sure, Captain." He says as he follows._

" _Close the door, let's talk." I swiftly say._

" _Captain, is something wrong?" He asks as his tone is wavering in unsureness._

" _I'm not sure, Andy." I rasp sitting down at my desk and clasping my hands in front of me._

" _I'm not sure I am following." He confesses._

" _Right. First, this is Sharon and Andy talking, not Captain and the Lieutenant. I know I try to steer away from personal conversations at work, but with what has transpired here today, it needs to happen and the sooner the better." I breathe as I feel my eyes stinging, as I try to force myself to hold tears back._

" _Sharon, look don't cry. I am ok. It was just…" He starts as he walks behind my desk. I hold my hand up to stop him._

" _Andy, I'm tired of hearing 'I'm ok' or 'I'm fine,' I have been hearing those same old tried lies for the last 3 weeks, something has got to give and we are going to get to the bottom of this tonight. So, dinner at Doomie's is cancelled. We will be having dinner at my place at 7 and then we will talk and you will be 100% transparent with me or we will have to do some serious reorganizing of our relationship." I exhale as I stand up and look him in the eyes._

 _He looks at me flabbergasted at my honesty for a moment and then he rasps, "I will bring your favorite wine." He turns around to head to the door and I grab his arm and whisper, "Thank you."_

 _He lifts my chin and says, "You are welcome." With that he turns around and heads out the door._

That was 3 hours ago and now here we are sitting on my couch. He is babysitting his usual cranberry soda, while my glass of wine is still full.

"Andy? Say something please?" I demand all but gently, as I tuck my legs under my body as I scoot closer to him.

"Sharon, look this hard for me." He breathes barely audible.

"I can tell. Trouble is deep and I can see it in your eyes, and I want to be here for you, but you have to let me be." I say as I run my hand over the top of his back, as his head has fallen into his palms.

"It's not that simple for me, to say this." He confesses as I feel him tense up beneath my hand.

"Andy, look at me." I breathe. He refuses. "Andy, I said look at me!" I forcefully rasp. He jerks his head to my raised voice. I can see that he is ready to let that wall crumble, but I have to push him some more.

"You will not shut me out, now! We have come too far! You don't let me shut you out, and I will not let you do the same! Understood?" I say lowering my octave, gazing into his misting chocolate orbs.

"Sharon, I don't know how to put this." He confesses.

"Just start out with a small part, we have all night." I assure him.

"Well…" He starts but then stalls, "Andy, you can do this." I reassure him as I grab hold of his hand.

"The doctor says that I need to think about retiring sooner rather than later." He finally confesses as his head falls back down to gaze at the floor.

"Ok. Why is that?" I inquire.

"Due to my last test results, coming back not so well." He whispers.

"What did they say?" I ask as I feel his squeeze on my hand become tighter.

"That I am in the highest percentile to have a stroke in the near future, due to the demands of the job." He whispers. I release a gasp, unable to hold it back. He looks over and me and I notice a tear has fallen. "This is why I didn't want to tell you. I don't want you to feel sad." He mumbles.

"Andy, sweetheart, I am going to be sad regardless, but I would be devastated if you had stroke. So, you will retire, right?" I breathe as I feel the tears stinging my eyes.

He goes silent and his gaze drops back to the floor. I have had enough of the silent treatment, so I get up and sit on the coffee table in front of him and force my knees between his clasped hands, and lift his face to mine, "You will retire, right?" I ask again.

"I'm scared." He confesses. Then it finally dawns on me like one of Oprah's "Aha moments," he is afraid of retiring because this all he has known for the better part of 30 years. When he lost his wife and kids he threw himself into his career and for the most part, it has been successful.

"I understand." I whisper as I run my thumb over his lip.

"Sharon, this is all that I know. What am I going to do? You know as well as I do, that I don't do well with idle time." He mumbles.

"You will figure it out. Spend time with the kids and grandsons. Go to as many Dodger's games as you can stand! Learn a new hobby or finish that damn backyard grill area that you have been working on for over a year!" I state, earning a chuckle from him.

"What about you and the team, Sharon?" He inquires.

"We will be fine. We can find a new member for the squad. But I'd rather do it because you heeded your doctor's advice, rather than you being forcibly retired due to a stroke or worse your death. We would never cope with that loss!" I toss out as the tears begin to steadily flow.

"Hey, beautiful don't cry!" He says as he cups my chin and pulls my face closer.

"Andy, do you not realize that this is the moment in which you need to be selfish? I know you love looking out for others, but this won't end in a good way. You must take care of yourself first and that's the only option. Either you will retire under your own recognizance, or as your commanding officer who will see your physical exam results, you will be forcibly retired!" I rasp as I wipe my tears away.

He falls silent for a moment, and then I see his eyes light up, like he wants to ask me a question, but he is unsure of my answer.

"What?" I inquire.

"Would you do it with me?" He asks.

My mouth falls agape and I sit straight up. I am unsure how to answer that question. Sure I would love to retire but I love my career and I love what I do for the city. But I love him too. But I don't want to sacrifice my own happiness for him? Do I want to hold that burden of regret over his head for the rest of our lives? I'm not ready to retire, but I love him almost to my detriment. Is he serious?

"Umm, are you serious?" I ask unsure if I am prepared for his response. As I brace myself for his answer, he leans over to me and whispers in my ear, "as serious as a stroke."

He pulls back and we exchange a silent response.

I look away from him and I stand up and walk towards the balcony door and gaze out into the city for a moment. I can feel his eyes burning a hole in my back. I turn around and head back to the table to sit, or so he thinks. I make my way to stand between his legs and place my hands on his shoulders and look down at him and rasp, "Yes, but…"

{TBC}

~~~~~~~~~~ERSL21~~~~~~~~~

Go ahead and leave me some nuggets (reviews) of love! If you feel inclined that is, but be forewarned that is only way my muse will feel inclined to complete the story. Sorry, she can be a bit of a brat!


	2. Can't Stop Now 'Cuz the Wind is Foregin

Thank you for all of the nuggets of love on the first chapter!

As usual I don't own these amazing characters, I am just taking them on a ride! They will be returned to the Duffster! Nor, do I own the lyrics to amazing song, all rights go to the super talented, Jill Scott.

 _~~~~~~~~~~ERSL21~~~~~~~~~_

 _Sitting here  
Contemplating  
If we should even be  
See I'm in love with a man  
Who loves me  
For me  
He'd do anything…  
_

" _Yes, but because you love me, you wouldn't seriously ask me to give up my career, which I love."_ Was the last thing I said before everything changed between us. Now, here I am sitting here on my balcony alone, thinking about how we may never recoup from this. I did the one thing, I promised myself and him, I would never do. I compared him to Jack. Comparing him to Jack was so easy to do. It was an honest mistake, but somehow I feel like it should have been said. I don't regret saying it, but I feel horrible for hurting him. But I can't allow another man to stop me from living my dreams. I gave up one career for a man that I loved and truthfully, I never have forgiven Jack, for it. I don't want to regret Andy for making me choose between him and my career. Deep down inside I know he didn't mean to make me feel this way.

" _Sharon, of course I love you! Don't ever question that. I just figured we could spend our retirement together, that is all." He says swiftly as he peers into my eyes._

" _Andy, I'm not saying you don't love me! You are asking me to retire with you is unfair to me." I say as I walk towards the sliding glass door and begin to hug myself._

" _Why do you feel it is unfair? Am I missing something here?" He says following me to the door._

 _I turn and look at him with sheer betrayal written on my face and before I could control my face, he stammers, "What is it? Damn it, Sharon, don't shut me out."_

" _Andy, you know how much I love my career and how hard I worked to get where I am and here you are asking me to retire! It's not fair to me! Period!" I exclaim pushing the door open and breathing in the cool night air, as it tingles my skin._

" _Listen, I don't want to fight with you! I know you love your career, just like I love mine! I didn't think that you loved your career more than me!" He exclaims causing me to crane my neck towards him in a spilt second._

" _Don't you dare, Andrew!" I assert in the most frustrated tone I have ever used with him. When he notices what he has said, it is too late. "Andy, do you realize you are giving me an ultimatum and I don't respond well to ultimatums! I gave up one career for a man I once loved, and I am not about to do it again!" I exclaim._

" _Damn it, Sharon, I am not Jack!" He stammers out, now clearly frustrated. "Did I say you were?" I all but yell. We have a stare down of that would rival the Roses. I roll my eyes, so hard that if I had in my contacts, I would have lost one._

" _Sharon," He utters trying to grab ahold of my arm and I move away, "Listen, I didn't mean it like that! Damn it, I am sorry! I don't want to ever feel like I asking you to decide between me and something else you love!"_

 _I stay silent and look away into the night sky. Neither one of us wants to be the one to break the silence. But he gives in, "Listen, let's just forget I even mentioned it. Okay?"_

" _It's not that simple. You took me to a place that I'm not sure, I can come back from." I whisper still gazing at the night skyline. He walks towards me and I back away never making eye contact. I hear him sigh before he speaks, "I will give you some space. Just know we aren't going to sleep until we get to the root of this." The hurt drips off his words so eloquently, that it almost makes me want to cry. Walking past me, he gives my elbow a gentle caress and it is hard for me not to acknowledge it. As I hear him walk into the condo, I never take my eyes of the skyline, I expect to hear the front door close, but instead I hear the coffee maker._

He is still in there forty minutes later, now on his second cup of coffee and pretending to read the newspaper. I keep sneaking looks inside at him and he has caught me a few times and I turn away like a chastised child. Every time, he catches me, he offers a gentle smile. Seeing him refusing to walk away from me, after I shut him out and hurt his ego, let's me know what we have can be salvaged. But how do I get this nagging feeling out of my head? I have worked so hard, to differentiate between the two men, and now here I am making them one. How did I screw this up so badly?

I love Andy more than I ever dreamed possible, but his request sent me back into a space, I never wanted to visit again. Andy, has never done anything to intentionally hurt me. Now that I think about it, he has never hurt me. He has been the type of man that I have always wanted. Why am I so quick to defend myself against him?

I hear the glass door slide open and I look up, "Hey it's getting late and I thought maybe you were getting cold." He says offering me my sweater and a smile. I reach out to him and take it and scoot over on the chaise lounge and motioning for him to sit next me. "Let's talk." I say as he closes the balcony door.

{TBC}

… _Easily  
Oh his heart knows no boundaries  
But  
He needs me  
Sometimes  
To write  
With a different pen  
On different paper- Jill Scott- Lighthouse_

~~~~~~~~~~ERSL21~~~~~~~~~

Don't hate me for the ending or the shortness of the chapter! I'm just starting a new career and I will be super busy but I know you guys needed an update, so I decided to whip one up for you! I hope to get another one out soon, and it shall be longer, I promise!

Leave me some nuggets of love, you know my muse thrives off of those!


	3. Everybody Get Wet

Thank you for all of the nuggets of love on the last chapter!

Sorry for the delay!

Here it is!

As usual I don't own these amazing characters, I am just taking them on a ride! They will be returned to the Duffster! Nor, do I own the lyrics to amazing song, all rights go to the super talented, Jill Scott.

This chapter will be told from Andy's POV. TRIGGER WARNING: Discusses mental illness, so if you are sensitive to that type of material please skip this chapter.

Thank you, _Meg0613_ for the wine suggestion!

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~ERSL21~~~~~~~~~

 _So I'm sitting here  
Contemplating  
If we should even be  
Like him  
I, too, have needs…_

* * *

A year ago when I asked Sharon to retire with me, I didn't realize at first why it was so difficult for her to let go of her career. But after we had the very crucial conversation on her balcony that night, things became a lot of clearer:

" _Andy, I don't want you to feel like I am shutting you out, but you have to understand where I am coming from when I say, you took me back to a place that I never wanted to revisit." She says turning her body towards me as I sit down next to her._

" _Sharon, I don't understand. But the difference between Jack and I, is I want to understand." I say trying not to sound resentful towards the fact that she compared me to Jack._

" _Andy, I am truly sorry for comparing you to Jack! It was never my intention to do so. It just happened." She breathes as she reaches for my hand._

 _I squeeze her hand and run my thumb over the backside, "Sharon, it's ok. But I really do want to understand. I want to help you come back from that place of hurt and despair." I confess gazing into her misting eyes._

 _She takes a deep breath before continuing, "Andy, when I had to give up my dream of becoming a lawyer, I battled a severe bout of depression. At first, I thought it was post-partum, but my doctor determined that wasn't the case. I sought treatment for it and now I am ok. But, I didn't have that support from Jack that I needed desperately. It was like he didn't even care that the mother of his child was going through something life altering. He couldn't grasp the concept, that I was really sick. A part of me wanted to end our marriage, right then and there, but I couldn't and wouldn't do that to my daughter." Tears are streaming down her face as she confesses one of her deepest secrets._

" _Beautiful, I am so sorry, you went through all of that." I say pulling her into a side hug and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead._

" _Once, I tried to talk to him about it. I explained that it hurt, seeing him live his dream of being a lawyer and he told me I was jealous and that I should just get used to it." She whispers onto my chest. My jaw clenches and if I could, I would go find him and punch the daylights out of him._

 _I lift her chin up, and say, "Sweetheart, I am so sorry for taking you back to that dreadful place! We will get through this together, I promise!" She offers me a light smile, as I wipe away her tears with my thumbs._

" _Thank you, Andy." She whispers as she pulls me into a hug. "You don't have to thank me, it is my pleasure." I whisper in her ear. She hums and pulls back, and looks into my eyes, before pulling me into a chaste kiss filled with so much gratitude. As we break apart, she says, "Andrew Flynn, where have you been all of my life?" I chuckle before replying, "Right under your nose, beautiful!" I pull her into another kiss, swallowing her beautiful laugh._

Here we are a year later. I officially retired two months after the scuffle with the dirt bag. While waiting for my official retirement to begin, I did mostly office tasks. Those office tasks, allowed to me get one helluva retirement surprise, from a very dear Captain! I always had a fantasy about it, but I never in a million years thought she would do it. It was more than I ever dreamed.

A lot of changes have occurred over the last year. Rusty moved into a dorm a 4 months ago, and so we decided we would live together and it has been one helluva ride, but I wouldn't change a thing about it. It is true, when they say you don't really know someone, until you live with them. We have one thing in common, when it comes to maintaining a household, cleanliness. We used to argue about it at first, because my clean wasn't clean enough for her. But we found a middle ground about two weeks into it. We split the household duties, which was a major shock for her. It still surprises me to see how independent she is. I can't imagine raising two kids, taking care of a household and holding down a demanding career, all by myself. She is my everyday superwoman. Sharon Marilyn Raydor, is the epitome of a "classic woman" she knows how and can do everything for herself. For her to allow me to be a part of her life, is by far one of the biggest blessings I have ever received in my life. I thank God, every day for the blessing he has bestowed upon me. Loving her has opened my mind and my heart to new things. I never thought about a second career, until her:

" _Andy, I think I am ready to join you in retirement." She says causing me to almost choke on my bite of eggplant parmesan._

" _Huh!" I stammer unclear of what I just heard._

" _You heard me, correctly." She says smiling before she takes a sip of her Cabernet Sauvignon._

" _What brought this on? If I may ask." I say looking at her beautiful smile._

" _Well, I have finally had enough of the LAPD. I've seen it all. I was trying to hold out for my promotion to Commander, but seeing how that may never happen, I might as well get out while the getting is good." She says laughing._

" _Are you sure?" I inquire. She nods and then says, "Pretty, sure!"_

" _So, Louie, is going to be next Captain?" I inquire. She laughs, "Actually he turned in his retirement papers last week. He and Patrice are going to travel for a while." She confesses._

" _Wow, he didn't tell me that." I say shaking my head. "Is Mike ready for the job?" I inquire._

" _Actually, yes! He took the Captain's Exam and to no surprise he passed with flying colors! I made a deal with the team that I wouldn't turn in my retirement papers, until Mike passed. He got his results today and I turned in my forms before I left today." She rambles excitedly._

 _I get up and walk over to her, and say, "Smart move, Captain!" I lean down to give her a kiss. "Well, we had to beat Taylor at his own game, before he could even play it!" She confesses._

" _I don't know what I've done to you, but I love it!" I tease._

" _Me too!" She breathes on my lips before kissing me._

" _So, what are your after retirement plans?" I inquire._

" _Hmm, I was thinking we could open that consulting firm that I helped you create the business plan for." She states gazing into my eyes._

" _Really?" I ask excitedly._

" _Yes, really!" She confesses._

* * *

We opened the firm 2 months ago and we have been a resounding success. The business has been very good to us. We have even talked about opening a satellite office in Orange County. Louie comes in from time to time to help out. Cooper has even told us, when it's time for his next career he would be joining us. Howard has since retired from the LAPD due to his heart, and now is a full time consultant with us. Brenda has moved back to Los Angeles and she works with us, as well. We are all one huge family here. It is great to come to work every day and make our own hours and still be able to do something that we love.

The best part of it all is working with the love of my life. Here she comes now, dressed in sheer navy button up blouse, with white polka dots, and white cuffed slacks with a pair of navy flats. Her hair is now a little longer, still auburn now with a few blonde highlights. I love seeing her casually dressed up. She can still pull off the blazer and heels look, but it's something about this look, that drives me wild.

"Here is your coffee, Mr. Flynn." She says offering me her gorgeous smile as she tosses her hair to one side.

"Thank you, future Mrs. Flynn." I say standing up to give her a small kiss on the cheek. I squeeze her left hand, as I feel the ring that I gave her last night at dinner.

"Come on, yew two! We have work to do!" Brenda says from across the hall.

Sharon laughs and gives me kiss and whispers, "Come on, Mr. Flynn you heard her."

God, I love this woman! I don't know what I ever did to deserve her, but I never plan on losing her!

… _And I need you_

 _On the other side of the speaker_

 _To look up a little more_

 _And think a little deeper_

 _And live in your truth_

 _I need that too- Jill Scott_

{The End}

* * *

I hope you all enjoyed "Weathering the Storm" with Shandy! I know I sure did!

Leave me some nuggets of love! You should know by now that is the only way my muse functions!

FYI: Muse now has a name! I wonder if anyone can guess it!

Until next time…


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